I Was Lost
by Alana Heloise
Summary: A poetic story about Hermione and Ron. Please read and review. AU.
1. The Finding

I Was Lost

Note: These Characters belong to J.K. Rowling

Chapter 1-The Finding

I woke up in the middle of the night. I couldn't sleep. Maybe he haunted my dreams. Maybe it was the rain. I walked out side. The rain. All I could see was the rain. It fell all around me. Yet I wasn't wet. I was dry. I was high. I was high on rain. It fell like wine. I drank it. It tasted sweet. Like sugar. Then he came. Like a dot in the distance. Slowly he came. His shape grew bigger every passing minute. He was wet. He was sad. I embraced him. Wet became dry, low became high. We became one. "What are you doing here?" He said pushing brown hair out of my brown eyes.

"I couldn't sleep." I breathed out as I looked at his red hair, which seemed less fiery in the rain. We looked longingly into each other's eyes for many minutes. Then he pulled me in tighter. His nose brushed my nose. His breath hot in my eyes. The world steamed over. I was slipping. The last thing I remember was him kissing me. Lips cool, but feeling hot.

"I love you." He whispered during a pause.

"I love you too." I responded before I found him again. Then I slipped completely away.

We awoke the next morning covered in dew. We were outside the castle on the lawn. The grass plastered to our bodies. I felt like I belonged there. It was so peaceful. Then I realized that I lay in his arms. I did not feel out of place. I felt like I belonged. His body was warm. His eyes were still closed, and breathing heavy. I smiled to him and rolled closer. I kissed him lightly and closed my eyes. I never really fell asleep after that, but waited for him to open his eyes. I longed to see his eyes. The way they looked at me. The way they made me feel.

About mid morning the eyes opened. My eyes were resting when he kissed me lightly. I slowly opened mine. We gazed at each other for a moment, then we kissed. Not with the same passion as the night before, but it still made my heart leap. Then I rolled away. He looked at me with confusion, but did not follow me. I felt that if we remained like that much longer we might be found. My body was still and dry by now, so I stood up. I heard the birds chirping. He stood beside me and put his arm on my shoulder. I leaned my head on his neck. His warmth was comforting in the cool spring air. We stood there for a while, in a happy silence.

It was about lunch time when we made are way back to the castle. I felt slightly uncomfortable in my nightdress, and I pulled it down as far as I could. He moved his arm to my waist and scooped me up. "Let them see." He said to the world. He should talk, his ensemble was maroon and way to small. It gave me the chills just looking at it.

"What if they talk?" I questioned in a hopeless way. I didn't even think about that.

"Let them." He made everything seem so simple. I felt fine being held there in his arms. Then we walked into the entrance hall.


	2. The Revealing

Chapter 2-The Revealing

People stared. They stared as if they had never seen us before. He held his head high and walked all the way to our dormitory. I pressed my head on his chest and closed my eyes. I couldn't handle the eyes boring into me. When we got to the common room he set me down. My legs were shaky. He gently pushed me in the general direction of my room. I stumbled up the stairs. My head ached as I changed into my clothes. I fell onto my bed. The world was spinning. I wondered where he was. Was he eagerly awaiting me? Was he hiding in his bed? I couldn't move. I felt sluggish. I had to know.

Every move I made took minutes. I made it to the common room. I saw his friend. I tried to turn back. But his friend got me. His friend pulled me into a chair. His friend looked at me through green eyes. "What's going on?" His friend questioned. I could not answer. I sat there. Confusion filled my body. What is going on? The only thing I am sure of is that I love him. He loves me.

Many minutes later he came. He saw me. He rushed to my side. He shhed me. "Can't you see her pain?" he questioned his friend. I sat there. I couldn't move. I couldn't talk.

"What's going on?" his friend repeated. He glanced at me. He went to find his sister.

"Take care of her." he told his sister. He took his friend to their dormitory. I felt weak. I started to cry as his sister patted my back. How could this cause me great joy and great pain.

I woke. It was evening. He was holding me. "What did you say?" I asked with all my strength.

"Where I was last night." I looked into his eyes with sadness. "But not why." This made me happy. I leaned into him. He leaned onto me. We watched the fire in silence.

His sister brought us stew. I was hungry. He was too. We ate a lot. The stew was thick. IT coated my insides. It warmed me. It was pure happiness.


	3. The Living

Chapter 3-The Living

The next morning I ventured out of the common room. His sister came with me. I tried to hold my head high. The school has very dull brown floors. I could barely walk. I stumbled many times.

I could barely hold down my toast. The juice tasted a little off. I felt like everyone was watching me. The hall was oddly quiet. His sister finished eating. We left the hall.

"Do you want to go outside?" his sister asked.

"No!" I yelled. I did not want to be where it happened. People would talk even more.

"Do you want to go the library?" his sister asked. I used to spend a lot of time there. It seemed normal.

"Ok, but I need my bag." We went to our tower. His sister got my bag for me. I thought that if I went in, I wouldn't come out.

We studied for many hours. I finished all my homework. We were leaving when his friend came. "How are you?" his friend asked. His sister glanced at me.

"Fine." I replied coolly. I never said such a lie before.

"Good, now I need some help on the potions homework." his friend said. Men! I was so mad.

"No!" I shouted and pulled his sister out the door. I did not know men were so naive.

"He needs to pay attention." his sister remarked; referring to his friend. At least someone understands. "I'll talk to him, you go eat dinner." his sister continued. I nodded. We parted. I walked to the great hall. I knew that the eyes were watching.

I sat down. I grabbed some food. I ate it. I felt sick. I shoveled more food down. The more I ate the sicker I felt. I ate more. I threw up.


	4. The Confusion

Chapter 4-The Confusion

A/N: The characters might to start to be confusing. Here is a list: I:Hermione, He/Him:Ron, His Friend:Harry, His Sister:Ginny.

_It was coming. Coming ever closer. All I could do was run. Run. Nothing stopped it. My sides ached. But I ran. It followed. My breath grew short. My pace slowed. It was so close. All I could do was walk. It was close enough to touch me. I turned my head to look at it. Then all went black._

I opened my eyes. My clothes were coated in sweat. I was lying on the cool stone floor of the Dinning Hall. People surrounded me. I had to get out of there. I ran. I ran outside.

The evening air was cool. I shivered as I made my way to the lake. My life had gotten so complex; in just a few days. I pulled my boots and stockings off. I put my feet into the water: it was crisp and ice cold.

_If I pretend nothing happened, maybe no one else will care. Who am I kidding? The way I've already acted, everyone will care till I graduate. What about him? We seem so distant from each other since that night. What am I to do?_

While I was lost in my thoughts his friend came out, and sat by me. "So I hear you threw up during dinner." Not the best conversation starter.

"Yea, I did." I replied with a hint of anger in my voice.

"Well, I was just wondering why?" I could tell his friend was scared to ask. I softened my tone.

"I guess you could say something besides school work has come up. And I don't think anyone could help me at this point." His friend looked stunned.

"Well okay. Um. I have to go finish some homework now." Then his friend sprinted back to the castle. I doubted a person would run so fast to do homework. Odd. So I followed.

"And then she said that no one could help her at this point. Sorry." he looked shocked.

"But... then has she forgotten. Does she care?" his friend shrugged.

"I don't know. But whatcha gonna do?" his friend said in a finale sort of tone.

"I'm gonna go give her a piece of my mind." he said and stomped out of the common room.

I had heard the whole thing from right outside the portrait. That jerk! I can't believe he told his friend! And if I had known, then I wouldn't have said that.

Then he came out of the portrait looking furious. "Hello." I said with all the ice in the world. He stopped, and turned around. Our eyes met. Pure hatred filled the hall.


	5. The Misunderstanding

Chapter 5-The Misunderstanding

A/N: Thanks to Dutchess of Coma Splice for some Ideas.

"I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU TOLD HIM!" I shouted at him.

"NO ONE CAN HELP YOU!" He yelled back. "I SHOULD GIVE YOU A PIECE OF MY FIST!"  
"I SHOULD GIVE YOU A PIECE OF MY KNEE!" and then I gave him some. He opened his mouth and fell to the floor. And with that I stepped on him and entered the common room.

I walked up to my dormitory with a smirk on my face. His friend looked at me with a questioning look and then hurried out of the common room. I think I heard his friend say 'AHHHHHHHH', but one can not be sure. I slept with a smirk on my face.

I awoke the next morning. I dressed and walked to the common room. His sister was there. "I heard." his sister commented.

I walked. "What really happened?" I stopped. Breathed. Started walking again.

"Well I didn't know he told anyone. And I said 'No one can help me' but that isn't true. So now..." I trailed off. I ached inside.

"Oh I'm gonna kill him." his sister muttered under her breath. It made me laugh.

The rest of the day was uneventful. I sat alone. I felt glares on my back. Why am hurt? Shouldn't he be hurt? The world was closing in. I hated today.

A/N: I've stopped writing for a while, don't expect any updates. I'm very sorry, but I don't have any muse for this story.


	6. The Learning

Chapter 6-The Learning

A/N: I ended up finding my notebook. I had to edit a few things to make it fit in with the story I wrote. Hopefully I will continue, but I might not write for a long time. Anyway…On with the story.

My face was pale. Looking at the food in front of me made me sick. I could only drink some juice. I walked quickly to my class. The room was open. I rushed to get a desk in a back corner. I wanted to be out of the way. The room slowly started to fill. Some of the girls in my dorm giggled at me. I shoved my face behind the wrong textbook. He and his friend were two of the last few in. They sat in front, which was very unusual.

I needed to focus. School was very important. Listen to the lesson, understand the lesson, and note the lesson. Ignore the people turning their heads. Ignore the sideways glances. Focus. His friend is going to ask me for the notes later. I need to write. Focus.

When class got out I ran. I went up until lunch like that. Sit in back, focus, run. When lunch came I ran to the table. I sat between two other people. I ate my sandwich quickly. The afternoon went the same as the morning. It tired me out to be so routine. I ate a lot of food at dinner. But this time he sat near by.


	7. The Fighting

Chapter 7-The Fighting

A/N: Hurray! This story has been all planned out, so updates can be expected. Probably next week, I've been sick and have a huge load of work to catch up on.

I tried to ignore him. I did not want to be anywhere near him. I just focused on eating my stew. But his words kept drilling themselves into my brain. "She over reacts too much." I slurped my stew loudly, trying to rid my mind of his words. "She doesn't get it." I started tapping my foot, slightly humming. I must not listen to him. Must not listen. "You'd think a know it all would know more." I attempted to talk to his sister.

"How was your day?"

"Fine." His sister was giving him very dirty looks. I could not help but smirk. But no matter what I did I could still hear his voice.

"She is so stupid; she must cheat on her tests or something." That was the final straw. I slammed down my spoon; making the remainder of my stew fly across the table. He looked up. His friend had been the one hit with the stew. "What did you do that for?" he asked me. I looked at him with disbelief on my face.

"No reason," I said coolly. He looked at me like I was stupid. But I reminded myself that he thought I was stupid.

"I never thought you'd be one to start a food fight," he said.

"You know I wasn't trying to start a food fight," I practically shouted at him. Before I could stop myself I had flung a roll at his head. His face turned red. I let out an evil laugh.

"What is it with you lately?" he yelled to me. I glared at him. All of the people at our table were watching us. Some of the smaller ones were looking scared.

"Me? Me?" I screamed. "Nothing is wrong with me!" I stood up and turned away. "Everything is wrong with you!" I marched out of the hall. I could hear the other students whispering. I could hear him talking. I kept walking. I didn't want any of this to happen. Everything that went wrong seemed to go wrong to me. A few tears slipped down my cheeks. I brushed them away quickly. I kept walking until I got to my dorm. Then I collapsed onto my bed. The tears wouldn't stop coming now.


	8. The Talking

A/N: Another chapter! Hurray. I think this may be my longest one yet. The story is nearing a close, and this might be the longest chapter you get, so enjoy!

Chapter 8-The Talking

My hair was plastered to my face with my tears. The tears that were still streaming down my face. I heard my door open. Foot steps approached my bed. Someone sat down next to me. "It's alright," I heard them say. I looked up to see his sister giving me a small smile. I did not even fake a smile to her; knowing she knew I felt terrible. I buried my head back into my bed, and continued to cry. I felt his sister's hand running through my hair. "What's wrong?" his sister asked. I shuddered at sat up. I looked into his sister's brown eyes; they asked me to let them help her. I swallowed.

"I don't know," I cried. I hid my face in my hands. His sister gently pulled them away. I could not look at her again. I stared, tears still pouring down my face, at the wall.

"Tell me the first thing you do know," his sister said sweetly. His sister held my hands, but did not make me look at her. I was grateful. I took a deep breath, and shuddered. I could not do it. I felt like I was betraying myself. I just shook my head. His sister was not easy to get rid of. "It will help you." The tone of the words forced my head to nod.

"A few nights ago I snuck outside," I began. His sister watched my, listening to my words. His sister's face remained the same; emotions not showing. I continued to tell my tale. The talking did help. A huge rock was lifted off my heart. When I finished his sister let go of my hands. I wiped my tears from my eyes and face. I felt myself being pulled into a hug. I was held like that for a few minuets, feeling like the stones that still rested on my heart being transferred into his sister's body.

"You need to talk to him," his sister whispered in my ear. I pulled away. I stared at his sister with confusion.

"Why?" I asked, almost yelling. His sister shook her head and smiled. This made me angry. "Why?" I repeated anger in my voice.

"So you can get over this," his sister said, motioning to the air. I glared. His sister stood up and walked toward the door. "You coming?" his sister asked.

"No," I said, lying back on my bed.

"Fine, I'll talk to him then," his sister said, and left my dorm. I lay there for what felt like an hour. I thought about what I had talked about. How I wanted it to turn out. I may have even fallen asleep.

I was lying on my bed when his sister returned. I did not want to talk, but I had no choice. "Get downstairs right now," his sister ordered me. I did not move. "He wants to talk to you." I did not even look at his sister. "Come on!" his sister grabbed my hand and pulled.

"I don't want to!" I shouted. I tore my hand away. His sister looked defeated. "Why should I want to talk to him?" I asked. His sister slumped onto my bed.

"Well that's what Harry said-" I did not let his sister finish.

"You didn't actually speak to him?" I questioned harshly. His sister looked ashamed. I scowled.

"He was in his dorm," his sister said. I did not care. "Please?" his sister looked at me with big eyes. I sighed.

"Fine," his sister looked happy, "But if this turns out badly I blame you." His sister pulled me up off the bed, and dragged me down to the common room.

His sister stopped at the bottom of the stairs. I looked up. He and his friend were standing a few feet in front of us. "Hello," I said coolly. His sister and friend moved to chairs.

"Hi," he said nervously. I glared at him.


	9. The Healing

Chapter 9-The Healing

He looked at me nervously for what seemed like hours. I glared at him. I am not weak. I will not back down. I could see his sister and friend watching. I wanted to glare at them, but I did not want to break my gaze. The room was filled with silence. He was the first to speak. "Um..."

"What?" I snapped. He muttered for a few moments. I guess he was figuring out what to say. Finally he took a deep breath and spoke again.

"I'm," he took another breath, "sorry." He slumped after saying it. Did he not really mean it? Was he just putting on a show? I wanted to continue my gaze of hatred, but I felt it soften. What was happening? I felt my body weaken. I looked into his eyes and felt much different. But I held strong.

"Why should I believe you?" I asked, forcing my voice to sound angry. He slowly closed his eyes. Was he trying to think of a reason? Or just to find the courage? I wanted to walk upstairs. I did not want to be feeling whatever I was feeling. I felt like I was betraying myself. I almost made myself walk away, but I did not get the chance.

"Because," his voice sounded hoarse, distant, "I," he opened his eyes, "I," he looked right into mine, "I love you." I stood stupidly. My limbs felt like rubber. They hung loose from my body. My mind was empty. I felt stupid. A smile crept across my face. The only thing that fought against gravity. My body started to move without me. I felt my legs take steps toward him. I felt my arms lift away from my sides. I felt my hands close around his back. I felt my head fall onto his chest. I was hugging him. But I did not want too. I felt his arms close around my back. He was hugging me back. I did not know if he wanted to or not. I felt my mouth open, but I did not know what to say.

"I'm sorry," I whispered to him. I was not sure if I really was or not. I just spoke. Why couldn't I say what I wanted? He hugged me still. Until he pushed me away. He looked into my eyes. A smile on his face.

"So I guess we're good," it wasn't a question. I nodded. Why did I nod? We weren't! He smiled. I felt my own mouth smiling. He turned and walked over to his friend. His sister walked over to me.

"See? It wasn't that bad," his sister said. My smile turned to a frown.

"Yes it was!" his sister looked at me quizzically. "I didn't mean it! I don't know why I did it!" His sister smiled at me.

"You did mean it; you just didn't know you did." I glared.

"I think I know myself better-" I walked away. I heard him talking.

"That went better than I thought it would," he was telling his friend. He sounded like he was joking. I stiffened. "I thought she was going to hit me." I turned around and glared at him.

A/N: I bet you thought that was going to be the end. Nope! But it is almost. Don't we all love Ron and his terrible timing?


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10-The End

He looked up. "Would it have hurt if I did?" I yelled. He looked shocked. His friend went over to his sister. They looked scared. "Are you that weak?" I marched over to him.

"No, no," he looked confused. I glared him down.

"Are you sure?" I asked menacingly.

"No." I hit him. Hard. On the top of the head. "Ouch!" I smirked.

"Don't you care?" I asked him. "Are you just scared of pain?" He grabbed my shoulders. I tried to turn away.

"If you had hit me before what would've happened?" he asked. I avoided his eyes. "What's going on?" I looked into his eyes. And kissed him.

I do not know why. But I understood. "You are so stupid." He smiled. I hit him.

"What was that for?"

"Because it's fun!" As I continued I heard his sister talking to his friend.

"I don't think they'll ever be happy unless they are fighting."

He picked up one of my projects. "I've always wanted a hat!"

"Give it back!" I said as I chased him around.

A/N: THE END! And boy am I glad. This was a hard way to write, and many times I just wanted to break the computer. I don't ever want to write in this style again.

Keep an eye out for more stories, and please tell me how you liked this one overall. I didn't like it much, but at least I finished it! Ttfn, ta ta for now! Alana


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